Decisions

I am really indecisive. Really...
I drive everyone around me nuts. My mom, my dad, my husband, my sister, and probably Afton.
I don't know where it came from or why I haven't outgrown it but I would really love to get better at making decisions.

The other day Brett and I were at a restaurant (Jim's) where we've gone several times and I have always ordered the same thing. Hot turkey sandwich with vegetables on the side. Always...

The waitress came over and asked if we were ready and I said no. I was thinking about getting something different. By the time the waitress came back I hadn't decided so I ordered the hot turkey sandwich. I looked at her and said, sorry I'm usually good with decisions (meaning that I always get the hot turkey sandwich at Jim's) but didn't finish my sentence before Brett started cracking up. He laughed so hard (for a little too long) and wondered how that sentence came out of my mouth.

The sad truth is that I really want to be better at making decisions. My sister laughs and tells me I am good with the big stuff but not the little stuff. I chose a college, a career path, a husband, a baby name, but I cannot decide where to go for lunch, if I should buy a cute shirt I found at the store, or whether or not to run an errand before or after Afton's nap. I drive myself nuts.

I will say that part of my indecision comes from guilty feelings. Sometimes I feel I need to do things and that weighs on my decision making. I am not good at letting things go, letting things roll off my shoulders and forgetting. I carry things with me and if I make the wrong decision, it sticks.

But truthfully, none of these little things matter. Yes I'll be eating more calories and less healthy food if I go to Arctic Circle for lunch but so what? And who cares if my hair is an inch shorter than usual. It still looks good and it grows fast right? And what if Afton is a few minutes late for her nap? And what if that shirt is cute but not my absolute favorite?

This is becoming a ramble and I'm starting to wonder if I should post or save to the archives. See - another decision.